Please note: This article contains tips for people wishing to support someone with depression, however this is not a substitute for professional advice or care. You may wish to contact the team at Unidex Healthcare for personalised guidance.
Depression is a debilitating and often invisible disease that affects hundreds and thousands each year. According to Beyond Blue there are currently 3 million Australians living with anxiety or depression. For some it will be a lifelong condition.
Depression doesn’t discriminate. It affects rich and poor, young and old, man, woman and child. It can take hold at any time. While varied, the most common causes include genetics, hormones, and circumstances.
Contrary to popular belief, depression is not ‘cured’ by a nice cup of tea or a walk in the fresh air. But if you know someone suffering, there are ways you can support them. Here we look at how.
Educate yourself about depression
Learning about depression is a helpful way of understanding what someone’s going through. While you may not be able to fully relate to them, empathy is a good place to start.
Recognising the symptoms of depression enables you to identify when their mood is worsening, and you’re able to get them help quicker.
Depression can take the form of anger, irritability, and low concentration. Physical symptoms of depression include headaches, muscle pain, and tiredness. In severe cases, some people can experience suicidal thoughts.
Behavioural symptoms of depression include withdrawal from social activities, lack of engagement and communication, and changes in hygiene and sleeping habits.
Listen to them
When someone is suffering with depression, be ready to talk and listen. Ask them how they’re feeling and don’t dismiss them or play down what’s upsetting them. Depression doesn’t always make sense, particularly for people on the outside.
Sometimes just showing empathy and validating their feelings is enough to make someone feel better. This might include saying things like ‘I’m sorry that you’re going through this’ or ‘That sounds so hard’.
Ask them what you can do to help and reassure them they’re not alone in their suffering. Emphasise that they’re important and that you’re here for them whenever they need.
Help them connect with support services
People with depression can find it hard to reach out for help. But the earlier that they can seek it, the better. A GP is usually the first point of contact for a diagnosis.
Following diagnosis, support services such as counselling, psychologists and support groups can help someone stay on track. However depression can often inhibit people from attending these. This is where you come in.
Encouraging and facilitating someone to go to their appointments can help them better manage their mood. Professionals can then monitor any significant changes and/or ensure they’re managing ok.
Remain patient
While depression can be frustrating for everyone, it’s important to stay patient and calm. Things vary from day to day, and you just need to take each one as it comes.
Never say things like ‘come on, just cheer up’, ‘stop being miserable’, or ‘just get over it’. To someone with depression, these are among the worst things you could say.
When it gets too much, take some time away. It’s important to set boundaries so that you have a break for your wellbeing. Removing yourself from the situation, if only briefly, will help you reset.
Plan to be flexible
People who suffer with depression often cancel plans or don’t commit. The nature of depression means that socialising can feel overwhelming. Putting a happy face over the sad takes a lot of effort.
When making plans, keep them loose. Suggest something you could do together on a certain day, but don’t lock it in. Check in with them how they’re feeling on the day and go from there.
If they don’t want to go, don’t hold them accountable or be disappointed, just try another day. Always keep the invites coming so they never feel forgotten.
Don’t assume you can heal them
Depression varies from person to person and ranges in intensity and length. While there are many ways to treat depression, there isn’t an instant cure. No matter how many hours you may spend supporting someone, you still may not be able to heal them.
But your support is vital.
Alongside the professionals you form part of a support team that can help improve the quality of life and mood of the sufferer. For them, that’s something to smile about.
If you or anyone you know is suffering with depression, reach out to Beyond Blue, Australia’s most well-known and visited mental health organisation. Remember that offering your personal support is often important, but it is not a substitute for professional care.
Author – Unidex Healthcare
